Three Ways People Stay Stuck (Without Realizing It)
Why striving, seeking, and soothing all feel productive — and why clarity is what actually changes a life
Most people think they’re stuck because they’re not doing enough.
They’re wrong.
Most people are stuck because they’re doing something —
just not the thing that actually creates change.
Over the years, I’ve noticed that when people want their lives to be different, they almost always fall into one (or more) of three patterns.
None of these patterns are bad.
All of them feel productive.
And all three can quietly keep the same year repeating itself.
I call them the Striver, the Seeker, and the Soother.
Most of us cycle through all three.
The Striver
Strivers believe change comes from the outside.
If they can just:
plan better
work harder
optimize more
control variables more tightly
…then life will finally cooperate.
Strivers are disciplined. Capable. Often high-performing.
They usually think they already have vision.
But what they actually have is over-planning without alignment.
They’re so focused on managing outcomes that they lose contact with meaning.
So focused on control that they lose focus altogether.
The result?
A lot of motion.
Very little fulfillment.
And a constant feeling that the goalpost keeps moving.
Strivers don’t need more effort.
They need clarity about why they’re doing what they’re doing — and what’s no longer worth their energy.
The Seeker
Seekers turn inward.
They believe change comes from mindset, awareness, healing, and insight.
And they’re not wrong — this work matters.
But seekers can get lost inside their own inner world.
They journal.
They reflect.
They process.
Sometimes endlessly.
At a certain point, insight becomes a way to avoid decision.
Life still happens.
Choices still need to be made.
Direction still matters.
Seekers don’t need more awareness.
They need engagement — a way to translate insight into lived reality.
The Soother
Soothers opt out.
Not dramatically.
Quietly.
They numb.
They distract.
They stay busy enough, entertained enough, comfortable enough to avoid choosing.
Scrolling.
Eating.
Working.
Drinking.
Staying “fine.”
Time passes. Years pass. Nothing really changes.
Soothers don’t need motivation.
They need a reason to care again — and a safe way back into agency.
Here’s the Part Most People Miss
All three of these are strategies.
They’re not flaws.
They’re adaptations.
And they all feel like movement.
But without clarity, they just recycle the same patterns in different disguises.
Strivers control the outside world.
Seekers try to control the inside world.
Soothers avoid both.
Real change requires something different.
What Vision Actually Is
Vision isn’t a list of goals.
It’s not positive thinking.
It’s not manifestation.
And it’s not just “mindset.”
Vision is the ability to see:
who you are right now
what patterns are complete
what patterns are still running you
and who you’re ready to become next
Without judgment.
Without shame.
Without pretending.
When people finally get clear, something interesting happens.
They relax.
Not because everything is perfect… but because they gain the direction and guardrails that can move them past their old selves.
That’s what the end of a year is supposed to feel like.
Why I’m Hosting a Vision Planning Workshop
I’ve used this process for years.
I usually do it on my birthday… a personal checkpoint to see what’s complete and what’s calling me forward.
New Year’s just happens to be another powerful moment to do the same work.
On Monday, December 29th at 3pm ET, I’m hosting a free Vision Planning Workshop where I’ll walk you through a no-bullshit process I believe every human should do.
Not to hype yourself up.
But to:
see which of these patterns you’ve been living from
understand why they made sense
release what’s complete
and consciously author the next chapter of your life
No pressure.
No regret.
No self-berating.
Just clarity.
If you want 2026 to feel clean, aligned, and intentional… this is where it starts.
👉 You can save your seat here:
https://www.nextlevelhuman.com/pl/2148731555
We’ll take it one step at a time.
— Jade
Next Level Human