If You Know Resolutions Are Bullshit… This Is For You.
What actually has to change, and why almost no one teaches it.
**Note: This piece draws from my original ideas, research, hooks, and metaphors. For editing and some wording, I’ve used AI tools trained on my own books and style, always blending technology with my hands-on curation and oversight. Thank you for being here—Jade.
Every January, the same ritual plays out.
Gyms fill. Journals open. Promises are made with real sincerity.
And by February, something subtle happens.
Not laziness.
Not lack of willpower.
Not a sudden loss of character.
People don’t quit loudly.
They drift… and then explain it away.
What’s happening isn’t failure.
It’s identity set point… a rebound and recoil back to status-quo psychology.
The Big Idea
Here’s the truth almost no one hears on New Year’s Day:
The person who wants the change is not the same person who has to live as the change.
And unless that gap is addressed directly, failure is not a risk.
It’s the default outcome.
Your identity set point is the internal “normal” your biology defends.
When you push for change that sits outside that range, your system doesn’t argue with you.
It quietly pulls you back.
That pullback is what most people experience as:
Losing motivation
Falling off consistency
“Self-sabotage”
Or “going back to old habits”
It isn’t weakness.
It’s homeostasis at the level of identity.
The Breakdown
Most people are taught that change works like this:
Decide what you want → set goals → create habits → push harder → stay consistent → eventually become someone new.
That sequence feels logical.
It’s also backwards.
Behavior does not create identity.
Identity permits behavior.
When you try to act like someone you are not yet wired to be, friction appears.
Your nervous system resists.
Your brain conserves energy.
Your physiology defends the familiar.
So when people say:
“I know what to do, I just don’t do it.”
They’re not confused. They are not lazy. They are not lacking motivation.
They’re misaligned.
They are pushing against an identity set point that has not been updated.
What Most Systems Miss
Almost every change system focuses on the conscious mind. But identity does not form consciously. Identity forms when stress meets meaning.
Here’s how it actually happens.
A stressed-out physiology…
plus fear, pain, or threat…
plus a snap judgment made in the moment…
creates a MUD.
A Misguided Unconscious Decision.
Something like:
“I’m not good at this.”
“I always mess this up.”
“People like me don’t do that.”
“I have to be this way to survive.”
That single moment hardens into a story.
Stories stack into beliefs.
Beliefs organize into I-statements.
And enough I-statements solidify into an identity.
The key detail most people miss?
These I-statements run automatically.
“I am this way.”
“I don’t do that.”
“I’ve always struggled with…”
They sound like facts.
They feel like truth.
And because they operate largely outside awareness, people live from them without ever realizing they’re doing it.
Why Insight Isn’t Enough
You cannot think your way out of an identity that was wired emotionally and physiologically.
MUD is a held together by emotion.
MUD is a story. Emotion is the rebar. Together they form psychological cement.
You can question the story all you want, but unless the emotional charge is rewired, the structure stays intact.
This is where most approaches fail.
They try to:
Change habits first
Regulate the nervous system first
Add accountability first
But those are third-order interventions.
They come last.
The Actual Sequence That Works
Lasting change follows a very specific order:
Rewrite → Rewire → Retrain
First, stories must be rewritten.
Not erased. Not denied.
Edited, integrated, metabolized.
Second, emotions must be rewired.
Because emotion is what gives the story its solidity, force and staying power.
Only then does the nervous system, habits, and behavior retrain.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Of those three steps, only one is conscious.
The other two live in the psychological shadows… the subconscious.
And you were never taught how to work there. None of us were.
Why This Feels Like Missing Technology
At Next Level Human, we developed tools specifically for this gap.
They combine breath, intention, somatic practice, visualization, and journaling to access the layers where MUD actually lives.
BEEP (Breath Enhanced Emotional Processing) works directly with emotional charge and physiology.
DEEP (Depth Enhanced Emotional Processing) excavates and integrates identity-level stories.
These methods don’t require motivation or consistency. They are not a biohack or psychological bandaid.
They remove the cause of identity set point rebound. In my field of functional medicine we talk about “root-cause medicine”… this is root-cause psychology.
When MUD is cleaned…
when the story is rewritten and the emotion rewired…
habits can finally be put to work… because you’re no longer fighting yourself.
Practical Takeaway
Before setting another goal, ask a more honest question:
“Who would I have to be for this to feel normal, not heroic?”
For example:
If your goal is health, who would you have to be for training and eating well to feel like brushing your teeth?
If your goal is money, who would you have to be for handling finances to feel boring, not stressful?
If your goal is relationships, who would you have to be for honest communication to feel ordinary, not risky?
Now stop thinking.
Instead, notice what happens in your body.
Do you feel a tightening in your chest?
A drop in your stomach?
A subtle urge to dismiss the question?
A rush of anxiety, irritation, or numbness?
That response is not fear of change.
It is your identity set point signaling a mismatch.
Your nervous system is reacting to an identity that currently sits outside what feels safe, familiar, or believable.
That sensation is not something to overcome.
It is the precise location where change must begin.
Because buried inside that reaction is a MUD…
a story formed under stress…
an emotion still carrying charge…
an I-statement quietly running the show.
When you learn how to work with that signal, rather than override it, change stops feeling like effort and starts feeling inevitable.
The body doesn’t block transformation… It reveals where it has to occur.
Closing Thought
The New Year does not require more discipline. It does not require more knowledge. It definitely does not need a new biohacking gadget.
It requires identity conditioning at the level identity actually forms.
When the set point shifts, behavior follows.
When alignment is restored, effort drops away.
When biology agrees with intention, change sticks.
PS: If you’re ready to break free of repeating the same resolutions year after year and become the kind of person who changes naturally, without forcing, explore my Next Level Human coaching program today. Spots are limited… don’t wait. 👉 http://www.nextlevelhuman.com/human-coaching