You’re Not Burned Out. You’re Stuck in a Story.

Why your nervous system can’t relax, even when you finally slow down—and how to rewrite the script.

When I was about six or seven, I got left behind on a baseball field.

It wasn’t neglect. It wasn’t abuse. It was a simple, very human mistake. My parents were juggling four kids, shuttling us to games, practices, recitals. One afternoon, a perfect storm: they each thought the other was picking me up. The coaches and other parents had left. The sun was setting. And I was just… there.

Alone. Scared. Forgotten.

Eventually, my parents came flying back in a panic. As an adult, I get it—my dad probably walked into the house, asked where I was, and my mom said, “I thought you got him.” And they tore off, terrified.

But my nervous system didn’t get the memo. My little brain didn’t reason through logistics. It etched one message into my being:
You’re not safe. You can’t trust. Be alert. Perform. Or you’ll be left behind.

That moment didn’t scar me in the way we think of trauma. But it planted a subconscious story. A MUD story. One that quietly shaped decades of striving—overworking, overdelivering, never truly able to rest.

---

The Big Idea

Burnout isn’t about being too busy. It’s about being stuck in a nervous system loop that was programmed before you even knew you had one.

We don’t burn out because we’re weak—we burn out because our internal survival system never felt safe enough to stop. We learned, young, that doing = safety, worth, belonging.

And here’s the kicker: you don’t fix that with bubble baths and time off.
You fix that by rewriting the subconscious story.

---

The Breakdown

1. Stress Is Meant to Be a Spark—Not a Cage

Stress is how we adapt. Acute stress helps us grow. But chronic stress without resolution—especially in childhood—rewires the HPA axis (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal). Studies on ACEs and PTSD have shown this leads to permanent shifts in stress responses (Heim et al., 2008; McEwen, 1998). Your body either goes hyper (anxious, alert, inflamed) or hypo (numb, fatigued, shut down).

Think of it like a dimmer switch: optimal is in the middle. Burnout comes when you’re stuck at max brightness or total darkness.

2. The Lion on the Savannah

Imagine you're on foot, alone, in the African savannah. You spot a lion in the distance. Your system goes into hypervigilance. Even after the lion disappears, you’re not safe. Why? Because safety isn’t the absence of threat—it’s the presence of protection.

You don’t relax until you find shelter.

Now imagine being a child—no lion, but a parent who’s angry, distracted, unavailable. Or a situation where you’re not picked up, not seen, not heard. Your system does the same thing: it locks into vigilance. And if there's no safe place to turn it off, the stress sticks.

This is how MUD forms—Misguided Unconscious Decisions about trust, safety, and worth. They aren’t rational. They’re emotional reflexes, buried in your biology.

3. Striving Becomes Survival

So you grow up and what do you do? You overachieve. Overwork. You strive. Because some part of you believes: “If I just keep doing more, I’ll be safe. I won’t be left behind.”

That’s the invisible seesaw of burnout:
Striving → Struggle → Self-Soothing → Shame → Repeat

It’s not laziness that keeps people stuck. It’s a body hijacked by an old story.

4. Enter BRN and BEEP

You don’t heal burnout with rest. You heal it with repatterning.

BRN Breath is a rest-based breath interval practice that mimics the healthy stress-rest rhythm:

• 20 Accelerators: short, sharp inhales (diaphragmatic breathing to activate)

• 10-Second Hold: gives space for recalibration

• 5 Braking Breaths: slow exhales through the nose to calm the system

This pattern toggles your nervous system between challenge and safety—training it to return to homeostasis.

BEEP (Breath Enhanced Emotional Processing) is a guided version of BRN that brings emotional content online.
You don’t just breathe—you revisit the story. Feel it. Then rewrite it.

You show your nervous system:

“Yes, this happened. But I’m not that six-year-old anymore. I’m safe. I belong. I’m enough—even when I rest.”

5. From Balance to Integration: Essentia as Your Anchor

Forget balance. Burnout doesn’t happen because you work too much—it happens when you work without meaning.

When you align with your Essentia—your authentic, purpose-driven identity—you shift from overdoing to becoming. From managing energy to channeling it.

Essentia isn’t some woo-woo concept. It’s your nervous system’s north star. When you live from it, your stress system recalibrates. You stop striving to survive—and start creating to serve.

---

Practical Takeaway

Try a BRN breath right now:

1. Do 20 double inhales… with a passive exhale. Do this fast and steady. We call this the accelerating or activating breath. (breath first into the belly, then the chest and then let the breath just fall out. Repeat in steady succession).

2. Take a breath in and hold the breath for a slow count of 10 seconds.

3. Now do 5 exhale focused breaths with a hum (we call this the braking breath). Take a full breath in and then a very slow, controlled exhale with a hum.
   
   Feel your body shift. That’s real-time regulation. Repeat this 20-10-5 pattern for two to three rounds.

Want a guided breath that goes much deeper:
👉 Grab your free BEEP session—a guided audio that brings up the story your body’s been holding and begins the rewrite. GET IT HERE

---

Closing Thought

That little boy on the field? He’s still here. He shows up every time I overwork, overdo, or overpromise. But now I meet him with breath, with presence, with the truth:

You’re safe now. You can rest. You don’t have to earn your belonging.

And so can you.

---

PS: Burnout isn't fixed with naps. It's rewritten with breath.

PS: If you’re ready to stop chasing balance and start rewriting the root story that’s been running your nervous system, check out Next Level Human coaching. Spots fill fast. This is the reset your body’s been begging for: 👉 http://www.nextlevelhuman.com/human-coaching

---

References:

Heim, C., Newport, D. J., Mletzko, T., Miller, A. H., & Nemeroff, C. B. (2008). The link between childhood trauma and depression: Insights from HPA axis studies in humans. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 33(6), 693–710. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psyneuen.2008.03.008

McEwen, B. S. (1998). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(3), 171–179. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJM199801153380307

Shonkoff, J. P., Garner, A. S., Siegel, B. S., Dobbins, M. I., Earls, M. F., McGuinn, L., ... & Wood, D. L. (2012). The lifelong effects of early childhood adversity and toxic stress. Pediatrics, 129(1), e232–e246. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2011-2663